Final score – Ramadanadingdong 2020

(Tuesday/Wednesday blog)

Millions of sports fans must be gutted, sick as a parrot etc etc that there has been no proper sport in Western countries for at least two months because of the Chinese Covid-19 plague. But fortunately our friends from the world’s peacefullest religion have not been put off from their favourite sport – mass murder by beheading, hacking to death with machetes, crucifying, blowing up with IEDs, shooting, burning to death, running over with a tank and so on and so forth. So, snouts-in-the-trough can now report on the final score for Ramadanadingdong 2020’s murdermania:

Looking at 2020’s results, it does seem that the Chinese Covid-19 plague has had a dampening effect on our religion of peacefulness friends’ opportunities to go out and kill innocents in the name of their god. After all, this year’s results were disappointingly below what the lads achieved in previous years. There were a few more attacks in 2020 than in 2019. But there were over 100 fewer kills – only four kills per attack:

In 2019, there were over five kills per attack. So this year the lads were getting fewer confirmed kills per attack. Clearly their ability to score was slipping.

The 2019 results were also disappointing, but pretty much in line with those from 2018:

Just 182 attacks and only 854 kills – just under five kills per attack. In fact, the lads have had around three years of fairly disappointing results.

Oh how I miss the good old days of mass slaughter. For example, in 2017 the lads were really putting in an effort:

There were only 174 attacks in 2017. But these 174 attacks managed to send no fewer than 1,595 innocents to Paradise or wherever. That’s over nine kills per attack. A pretty good score.

And then there was 2016:

In 2016 the lads notched up 238 attacks dispatching a much more impressive 1,850 innocents.

And let�s not forget 2015 � that was a time when the lads really knew how to score:

Yup, in 2015 the lads managed to whack 2,988 innocents in 314 religiously-inspired attacks.

I think the problem is that the First Team – ISIS – haven’t been in action so much over the last three years. The years 2015, 2016 and 2017 were when ISIS were at the top of their game. But since then the second team – the Taliban, Boko Haram, Ansar al-Sharia, Abdullah Azzam Brigades and others – just haven’t shown the same ability to score as ISIS.

Let�s hope the lads can up their game in 2021 so we can get that scoreline back up to 2015, 2016 and 2017 levels. After all, less than a thousand murdered in the 2018, 2019 and 2020 Ramadanadingdongs is a pretty pathetic result.

Oddly, the BBC and C4 News and other mainstream media don�t mention these important sporting results.